I was probably born angry. My earliest memories are of being rageful and feeling like I was fucked over. Probably because I was the second kid and the baby of the family but I got dick in terms of attention. My parents were in love with their firstborn, a boy who was real extroverted and jolly and cute. My mom entered him in a cute baby diaper contest in the mall and he lost to some other baby but there is a giant picture of him in the saggy diaper with a second place sash on his body in our house. In the middle of the living room hanging like the Christ so if people came over that’s what they saw. They didn’t have as many pictures up of me. In my baby pictures I was always scowling.

Some more bad stuff happened in the seventh grade when I was walking to school and I got hit by a delivery van when the driver had a heart attack and passed out at the wheel. The van ripped my right foot off and it flew really far off in some bushes so by the time they found it it was actually all stale and covered with ants and they couldn’t save it. So I had to be a cripple. And it still feels like my right foot itches even though it fucking doesn’t because it fucking got ripped off.

My parents got some money as a settlement for my phantom foot but they spent it on my brother’s braces and his shiny new bicycle and summer camp. I often wondered how disabled people could be happy because I sure wasn’t. When I got the chance I would interview them. Like if me and someone in wheelchair happened to be waiting for the bus at the same time I would ask them about their lives. And most of them said the same things. That they had goals, and people they cared about, and were of service to their fellow man and creatures. They had a purpose. I couldn’t relate to that. A few of them confided in me that they got a lot of attention. From their family and from strangers too when they went places. I understood that part. I hadn’t experienced it, but I wanted to.

Of course these answers came mostly from people who had at least a little money. The poor disabled people of which I was one were not so happy. They were working crappo jobs or unemployed like pretty much everyone else and they were expected to just handle it and shut the fuck up about their extra problems. A lot of them got some government assistance thank god for that I don’t bedgrudge anyone their government assistance. I didn’t get much help from the government as a kid except for some free haunted house beige prosthetic feet but that was better than nothing.

I did of course get joy from some things. One has to, or there’s no point in being alive. I liked watching documentaries, especially animal ones. I saw a show about pigs and was quite enchanted. Pigs are even smarter than dogs. They are also very loving. And they aren’t dirty. They have very sensitive skin, just like a human’s, and they cover themselves in mud so that they don’t get sunburns or bug bites. In the documentary, someone rescued pigs from factory farms. They installed a little outdoor shower for them. The pigs learned super fast they could pull a cord and the water would come out. They would all get in line and use the shower every day. I also learned there’s also a lot of rescue “mini pigs” who need homes. This is because unscrupulous breeders sell “teacup pigs” and tell people they will always stay small. This is a lie and so the people get them as pets when they are tiny but then they get too big and the people abandon them. I thought someday I would like to rescue a pig who needs a home. But when was I ever going to be able to do that?

I left home at 18 because my biological family was so gross. I spent some years working awful jobs night and day and being really poor. I was working like a mutherfucking slave and I still couldn’t pay all my bills or buy good food. Then at 27 I contracted pneumonia and didn’t have health insurance cuz I couldn’t afford it so I ended up in major hospital bill debt. I lost my current shitty job and almost got evicted from the one room apartment I was renting when miraculously I got this job at a printing company delivering whatever pamphlets or other materials some company had printed up and I would deliver these to them in a timely fashion. I’d applied for the job before I got sick and they called after I got out of the hospital. I did the interview when I was still on antibiotics. I eventually became the assistant project supervisor there and had hiring capability and was making enough to afford my own car and rent a better apartment and buy a really good prosthetic with a silicone sleeve and titanium base.

I still wasn’t happy though. I could be good with people on a professional level but I didn’t have any real friends because I deep down nurtured a resentment at people in general because my introduction to them had been through my family. Then I got diagnosed with celiac disease after getting really sick. I had to find a doctor to do the celiac test on me because my regular doctor was too ignorant to think I needed it. Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine and you end up with bad fatigue and all kinds of inflammatory issues and digestive problems. It was very rare until they started genetically fucking with the wheat. That was something I learned, that even though the government says they have not allowed Monsanto Genetically Modified wheat onto the market, almost all the world’s wheat production is now GMO. In the 1950’s, some moron scientists took wheat kernels and exposed them to toxic chemicals that caused DNA mutations and then irradiated them with xrays to cause more mutations. They did this to make the wheat have more starch (which incidentally means way more sugar plus there is this super addictive binge-causing chemical in there too) and way more gluten (the protein in wheat that people with celiac disease react to, and it turns out most of the population has an allergic reaction to as well).

Wheat plants used to be tall and thin, but today’s wheat is all short and stubby because it has been genetically modified. The current legally accepted definition of GMO is when part of the gene sequence is altered or deleted using gene splicing technology. But it makes no sense that using poison and xrays to alter the genetic sequence isn’t considered genetic modificaton because IT FUCKING IS!!! And what really pissed me off was the guy that invented this Frankenstein wheat got the Nobel Prize and the Congressional Medal of Honor and shit all because he thought he was eradicating world hunger and these other dummies thought so too. Instead, he paved the way for Monsanto and Big Agro to take advantage of small farmers in this country and others because SURPRISE! this new fucked-with wheat needs a lot more pesticides to grow. There were people who criticized this scientist’s work, they said it was bad for people’s health and the environment and for local economies. He didn’t listen to them though because he was a fucking egomaniac. Even organic wheat is made with this poisonous strain that got invented so many years ago.

When I learned stuff like this I just got angrier. I didn’t have a constructive way to deal with information like this. And then I’d end up somehow translating it into more rage at my parents for their neglect and abuse. You can’t pass on something you haven’t got. I had never been given love by like anybody. Yeah my parents had never starved me or raped me but they did hit me and never hit my brother. Anyhow, I had a job now where the insurance would pay for a therapist. I knew I needed to get counseling. But I was putting it off.

Naturally I gravitated towards men who were fucked up and angry like I was. I wanted the attention I never got from my parents and didn’t care if it was the negative kind. The sickest guy I met turned out to be one of those weirdos that liked to hogtie women and shove pointy objects up their pussies or whatever because he was still so angry at his own mommy. He was a third stage alcoholic too. He drank and shot heroin most days. I suggested one time that he could go to Alcoholics Anonymous but he laughed in my face. He liked to get loaded and then spank me with a paddle while I was tied to the bedposts. One time he started hitting me so hard it turned into a beating and I was screaming the safe word at him to stop. He ignored me and kept hitting me. When he finally untied me I beat the shit out of him. Punched him in the face, knocked him on his ass. Gave him a black eye. He promised he would never do that again. For a while he was ok and everything was calmer. Then he suggested we go out in the woods and do this adolescent goofball shit out in the glories of nature.

So we went out there and he tied each of my arms and legs to a tree (he must have already found the place and planned it beforehand because there were four trees and they were growing conveniently close enough to tie someone spread eagle to them.) Of course I was naked. Then he left me there. We had hiked in for like four hours in the heat and I was out in the middle of nowhere. At first I thought he was just fucking with me and hiding behind a tree or something. Playing a game. But the hours passed and once night fell, I knew he’d left me out there for dead. I was furious with myself; what a moron I was for trusting someone I knew wasn’t trustworthy. I was out there for 2 days. But then some aliens found me and took me up in their spaceship and saved me. For real.

And I am no longer an angry person as a result. What happened was I passed out around the end of day two because it was hot (we live in Central Florida) and I was real dehydrated. It was a blessing to pass out from lack of water because I was worried ants were going to find me and eat me alive. But thankfully, that didn’t happen to me. Instead, I woke up and I was with Them. But let me tell you, when you’re up there you’re in a sort of different level of consciousness, it’s not this huge shock. It’s like dreaming a little bit. The beings were grayish and had soft shiny skin that looked too delicate for earth’s gravity and atmosphere. Sort of like a dolphin skin but without the density you can feel in one of those dolphin’s rubbery bodies.

Some of the beings were taller than me, like eight feet tall. They had giant heads. Some of the beings were very small, like four feet tall and they also had heads disproportionally large for their bodies, at least compared to the human being body/head ratio. Their eyes were giant and dark like an insect’s eyes but they also glowed, I guess with astral energy though because there were no pupils really. But life and intelligence and kindness shown out of them. The ship was all glowing light and silver, like light was glowing directly from the silver.

They seemed to have an enclosure that sort of looked like it was a bubble built of glass and inside the bubble there were canisters suspended in air, like just floating there, and they were glowing neon green. The aliens would go sit in there and absorb something from the green canisters, maybe they fed like plants by manufacturing fuel from light sort of like photosynthesis, I don’t know. They might just feed directly on the energy of the universe that rises up through your chakra system when you have an orgasm. And speaking of which, they didn’t have genitals. They were smoothies. I think they procreated by just gestating a new baby alien and growing it in one of those canisters. Or maybe they were able to birth it right out of the ether, like manifest it from there, I’m not sure.

I might normally have been upset when they held me down on a table and inspected me, but they telepathically explained they were helping me and I knew they were telling the truth. It’s like how at the ER you give your permission to the doctor to do what they need to in order to help you. They didn’t hold me down with physical force. The big ones were around me and I guess they held me down with their minds. They said they were going to heal my intestines. They shoved something up my ass the proverbial butt probe and it kind of hurt. Well not that bad, it was more just the shock of the experience. Then they let me off of the table and brought me to something that looked like a hot tub with the bubbles on but the fluid looked like glowing purple plasma and there was no container holding the plasma, unless it was some kind of see thru force field. We stepped into it and then the glowing lavender plasma stuff began to rotate like a slow whirlpool and I went around and around in this tub for a while. One of the aliens rode with me.

Then they showed me space through a porthole type window aperture. I think they were telling me things the whole time. Stuff about taking care of myself and the other living creatures on earth. They said there was a being on earth who had finished all his karma and that they wanted to continue to evolve and finish all their karma too so they could be like him. Wasn’t sure what they were talking about. It was pretty busy up there. The memory that is most strong in my mind is that there was good vibes up there. I felt safe and cared for and respected.

They dropped me off after that and I woke up in the clearing in the woods. I felt physically great. Really strong. I was able to find my clothes and backpack that the loser had stacked behind a bush and walk back to the base parking lot. They had a public restroom there and I got a drink of water from the fountain outside. Didn’t even throw up, the aliens had rehydrated me. I walked further down the road and after about an hour caught the local bus and got back into town.

Even though I had newfound peace from the aliens, I still had decided I was going to kill this guy. After I got home, I grabbed my keys and started driving over to his house. But funnily enough, it all came to nothing. Because it turned out one of his neighbors had complained about a stench that morning and the building super busted in and found the guy liquefied into his couch. He’d tied me up in the woods, then driven home and shot up and OD’ed.

So that’s what happened to that guy.

After my experience I did some research into other alien abductees’ experiences and found in some ways they did mirror my own. Although some of them were pretty pissed about the butt probe. They just hadn’t realized they were being healed of polyps and other health problems. The research was very interesting, because there are people all over the world who have seen UFOs or been up there with them. A lot of them said they were changed people after they came back. I know I was. I was more philosophical about my resentments. I just was different. I realized I wanted to release that stuff and have more peace in my life. It wasn’t coming from a noble or mature place, I realized I just wanted peace is all. And to keep my body safe from here on out. It was time to take action. I started eating gluten free organic foods, and taking long walks after work and even meditating. I found a good therapist and began doing the work to heal from my childhood, and grow as a human being.

My therapist gave me these writing assignments for how to reprogram my brain to not be angry. And also how to neutralize the sick programming I got from my parents- how to erase those mental tapes. I’ll give you the title of the book that has the directions for how to do it at the end of this story. This method really has continued to help me. I am weekly emptying the garbage in my brain so something healthy and happy can grow in there. And it’s working.

I am active in factory farm animal rights now, and also the organic food movement. I did a march for NO GMO’s this year. A hundred thousand people across the nation turned out. I also work with a foundation that helps people who live in low income areas of the city acquire land to use as community organic gardens. The earth gets cleaned up and purified and then everyone can apply and get their own gardening plot.

I haven’t started dating anyone else, but that’s because I’m being more picky this time. It’s a nice thing to look forward to though. And get this- I actually got a promotion at work. Once they found out I hadn’t just ditched my job or gotten murdered, they were happy to have me back and I am now a manager of my own division. It’s a bigger paycheck. I’ve started saving up for a house on some property. I want to rescue pigs and also grow an organic farm. I am like a full-fledged human being now. And I have some other-than-human-beings to thank for it.

P.s. The book I use in therapy is called “The Process” by Isa Moore.

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2013 by Kim Campion

 

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